Jack of All Trades No More

Recently, I’ve been seeing too many dance videos on my Facebook timeline. People from all over the world who are absolutely, ABSOLUTELY amazing dancers. Most of the time, I will play their videos more than once. Hehe. I’ve always been fascinated by great dancers, they look soooo free and happy to be themselves. You can see by the way they move that they really love what they do and when they dance it’s like they are sharing to you a part of their soul. They always shine when they dance, the passion is there and their audience are capable of knowing or feeling this. The same goes for the other people who do what they love — singers, artists, writers, etc.

Few weeks ago, I’ve been watching and doing tutorials on how to improve my drawing skills. I even decided to open my online shop to sell some digital artworks. Then I stopped when I was half way through with one project. After that, I started baking and did some experiments. I baked everyday, trying to perfect a bread/cake. But then I got frustrated because I can’t get the texture that I want and I just decided to lay low for a bit. Maybe I was trying too hard. Maybe.

Have you ever had those moments where you have watched someone be really good at something that it made you want to do the same thing? You will always say to yourself, ‘I want to do the same thing. If he can do it, I can do it too!’ There will be this unexplainable burning desire inside of you, sometimes you even get goosebumps, and then you can’t relax anymore because you can’t wait to try it by yourself and be good at it too. But... when you try to do what they do… you immediately realise that you are not good enough or sometimes, you can’t even do it at all! It’s like you are being pulled out of this dream bubble and you come back instantly into the real world. @$!#$%. Sucks.

I’ve had too many of these moments in my life. Most of the time, it leaves me frustrated and annoyed with myself. I’ve always labeled myself as a jack of all trades, a master of none. I can do many things but only on the basic or average level. Ask me to do something and more often than not, I can do it. And that has always been my problem. I want to do so many things, so many that I cannot focus and be my best on one thing. I don’t know if there’s a word for it. 

I know what you are thinking, ‘Hey, you should be happy, others can’t even do a thing!’ or ‘Some people don’t even have the opportunities you have!’ I know, trust me, I KNOW I am lucky and not all people are blessed with what I have BUT it doesn’t mean that I don’t have the right to get frustrated at it. And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but hey, I am human too. 

I mean, you get the idea, right? You get where I am coming from? Like any other normal human being, I want to be recognised and be an expert on something. I want to be really good at something that my name will be synonymous with what I do. So, where do I start? I should ask myself what do I want to do the most, something that I really enjoy doing and focus on that. Sounds easy peasy, but it is certainly not. 

Or MAYBE the problem is not about me wanting to do so many things? Maybe, the problem lies within myself. I said 'Ive always labeled myself as a jack of all trades', maybe that is the problem?? Oops, too many maybes. Lol. I've told this to myself too many times that I started believing in it and therefore it limits me to be the best at one thing. Yes, that's it!!!! Okay, I just had an 'aha!' moment in there. Hehehe

So, first things first. Choose one thing that you love to do. AND THEN, change your perspective on being a jack of all trades and start believing that you can be the best on one thing. Decide and aim to become a master of it.

You, and only you, can help yourself. 

So, do yourself a favor my dear and start believing in yourself, MORE.